Can we all just take a minute and peel ourselves away from the end of summer psychosis and admit to one very cold, hard reality? Teaching is, literally, the crappiest job in the universe. Like, pee your pants a little when you pick up a dropped nickel and spill coffee on your brand new, winter white, overpriced, Anthropologie, cashmere sweater crappy.
I know. That's a terrible analogy because what teacher shops at Anthropologie for anything other than a 2oz candle? No teacher. Which is another great reason why teaching is the crappiest job in the universe.
Exhibit B: These shoes look like they spent a few months in the Cheetah exhibit at the zoo. Torn and tattered and totally rendered useless, no human sole (pun intended) shall ever bear thier adornment again. How does a job involving coloring impart so much physical damage to the feet? And what is the reason behind the total injustice of wearing the formally cloud-like, comfort capsules? There is none. None at all. Jimmy Choo-Who? Not unless you want to claim bankruptcy by Mid-January.
Exhibit C: Enough already with the duties. I'm sick of going outside and spending all that wasted time in the fresh air and sunshine. Hello, skin cancer! Nice to meet you every Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday from 10:05-10:25! What is wrong with a basic cubicle that protects you from the sun and human contact? Nothing.
Exhibit D: New 'coworkers' every 11.8 months = a pain in it. Just when you've gotten the team dynamics completely functional... everyone quits and you're left with a whole new crew of brand new team members who have no idea what they're doing. "Where's the bathroom?" They ask. "Do you have any pets?" "Do you like Starbucks?" "What's your favorite color?" Oh, pu-lease. You missed the train by a whole summer, and now I need to completely start over -- and by the way, it's not really that cute at all when you *feign* joyous excitement at the science experiment you've "never done before" or when your force your little face to light up when you finally "get" something. Whatever. Crap, crap.
Are you with me, or are you with me? Teaching sucks.
Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go set up my room.
After all, I'm the best teacher... ever.